Saturday, October 29, 2011

Your Next Place

By Franklin Schneider

Would you like to live in Ledroit Park? Of course you would. Any neighborhood with its name on a metal archway over the main road in has to be good. That, or you live in EuroDisney.

This gleaming new condo unit offers an open plan first floor that's made for entertaining; the space is bisected by a huge kitchen, with a bright living room in the front of the house, and a generously sized dining area in the rear. The kitchen itself boasts a gas range (with hood) and silestone counters. There are also the requisite high ceilings, recessed lighting, hardwood (maple) floors. Out back, there's also a private deck, off which you just know that one stupid friend of yours will urinate during halftime of your Super Bowl party. What's wrong with him?

Upstairs are two master bedroom suites, both very fine. Also, this stretch of Sixth Street is one-way and in that sort of weird limbo between Florida Avenue and the Howard University campus, so it's really really quiet. I live just three blocks west on Sixth, but in front of my house it's a nonstop ambulance drag race-slash-siren exhibition. So I was pretty jealous. I offered to trade places straight up, but the agent turned me down. I thought this was rather shortsighted of him. Sure, it comes with a huge colony of black mold on the living room wall, but just do what I do – put a “Wolverine” poster over it. Problem solved!

1915 6th St. NW
2 Bedrooms, 2.5 Baths


Anonymous said...

No offense, but why has Groupon/Living Social 22-year-old-style copy editing taken over all online writing? The urination. Mention of black mold and sirens a few blocks away. It's all just such a turn-off.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps you prefer the generic, sugary-coated "oh my, what a beautiful home!" comments of every other real estate site??

This guy's writing makes me laugh every single time I read an article from him. I think he's incredibly witty.

Anonymous said...

The only thing that annoys me is the lack of robbery/rape/murder statistics for some of these neighborhoods. If you're going to spend over half a million on a home, there are thousands of places in the United States that are much more worthwhile than LeDroit.

Anonny said...

Lighten up Anonymous 3:40. Like Anonymous 10:22, I love Franklin Schneider and his writing. It's always a treat to see him review homes, especially given the disgustingly cloying text that normally goes along with real estate listings (eg., MOST elegant and sunniest 200 sqft of basement apartment EVAH!!!!!).

Thank you Franklin for a good laugh.


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