Saturday, December 08, 2012

Your Next Place


This fresh new build in Chevy Chase is 7300 square feet of pure undiluted luxury, or approximately one square foot for every time I muttered "I knew I should've gone to law school," as I glanced covetously around during the open house.  From the moment you walk through the imposing double front doors, you know you're entering a very special place, sort of like when you down that eighth shot of tequila.  The house seems even huger from the inside, with a double-height entryway leading into a number of high-ceilinged, wide-open rooms.  The great room features a majestic Porcelanosa wall that you could totally rappel down if you were trying to impress your guests, or were just really stupid.  The kitchen is just massive, with a marble-topped island that features a gourmet chef's range, and the best in high-end appliances.

Upstairs, the master bath sports one of those rainwater showers that simulates being homeless and bathing in the rain (just kidding, I love these showers), and a jacuzzi tub that I would've come back and stolen later that night, if I owned a crane.  There's also an exercise room and a sauna.  If I had a sauna in my own home, I'd use it so much I'd look like a lank-haired pink raisin. Also, if you're single, just imagine the power of being able to say, at closing time, "hey, after hours party in my private in-home sauna?"  And finally, there's a heated three car garage, so you can rest easy at night, knowing your vehicles are toasty and warm.

7035 Wyndale Street NW
6 Bedrooms, 8 Baths
$1,949,000






Washington D.C. real estate news

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

this house is hideous. it is the quintessential mcmansion that sacrifices quality materials for square footage. from the terrible proportions of the columns and pediment, to the three car facade dominating the facade, this house has zero architectural value. it is truly a shame for the neighborhood.

adelphi_sky said...

I'm not sure that's gonna sell for $2 mil. It's hideous. Even if I had $2 mil to burn, I wouldn't buy that house.

Anonymous said...

Uh, no thanks. Did I wake up in 1998?

Anonymous said...

Ugly, nasty, awful, and tasteless. What a waste of material.

Anonymous said...

Classless. I hope it never sells. Its insensitive builders like these that ruin neighborhoods.

Kevin said...

Damn I wasn't expecting these comments. I actually like it even though it's more house then I'd ever what or need. Then again I'm 25 so my likes and tastes are probably way different then any other reader or poster here.

Evan on Dec 10, 2012, 1:34:00 PM said...

Agree with everything that's already been said here, thankfully this style seems to have fallen out of favor pretty rapidly due to backlash and the economic crash. Here's to hoping that it stays that way, although you can never be sure that once things start to really recover, these will start popping up again.

Anonymous said...

"No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public" Mencken

Anonymous said...

I hate the outside of this house. It makes no sense at all.

Anonymous said...

I didn't even notice the fact that they clad the pediment in cheap looking stone until now... What a bastardization of architecture. The architect is either on drugs or he's mentally retarded.

Anonymous said...

Do you really think this project had an architect? I'd guess that a spec builder came up with something and had an engineer stamp the drawings. . . .

Anonymous said...

I don't think the pictures do the house justice. The exterior is even more awkward and ugly in person. My impression was the builder just tried to squeeze every last sq.ft. of house into the lot. Interior was pretty nice but I don't think they will get this new price either. They first tried it at $2.2MM.

 

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