Tuesday, May 03, 2011

Your Next Place...

By Franklin Schneider

I'm sort of bad with directions and it took me awhile to find this place. But when I finally walked up, I was immediately impressed. A beautiful little porch, quaint architectural details, large yard. I couldn't wait to see the interior! But when I tried the front door, it was locked. Another open houser was walking nearby, scrutinizing the yard, and I waved her over. "Aren't they showing this place today?" I asked. "The front door is locked." "That's the garage,” she said. "The house is over there.”

Yes, I get paid for this. But that's how charming this place is – I was ready to put in a seven-figure offer on the garage. And the actual house didn't disappoint either. An excruciatingly classy French country home, it has a large, open living room with french doors that open onto the sprawling back yard, a massive gourmet kitchen, four bedrooms and four bathrooms (I think we can all agree that the less sharing the better), a separate library (also with french doors), a palatial master suite, and a fantastic dining room in which you can sit three times a day and make passive-aggressive remarks to your fellow family members about their hairstyles (“I didn't even know people still liked Jennifer Aniston!”). There's also a huge stone patio and a fully-finished, ridiculously roomy plush basement with recessed lighting. Traditionally this is the part of the house you make into a “rumpus room” for your kids and all their crap, but this basement is waaaay too nice for that. I'd suggest the garage, but that's also too nice. Maybe there's an old septic tank you could have converted. Feel free to ask the agent about it (not really).

3316 Rowland Place NW
Washington, DC 20008
4 Bdrms, 4.5 Baths


Lani Gering said...

If I had any money I would have Frank as my realtor just because of his sense of humor.

prolix on May 11, 2011, 6:56:00 AM said...

What an excellent looking garden! I think your refinements look fantastic.

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