Your Next Place...

By Franklin Schneider

Some people like old, vintage items with character; tattered jeans and scuffed boots and classic cars. Others prefer the newest, glossiest, and most up-to-the-minute; the latest smartphone, a pair of pristine running shoes fresh out of the box, that still have that “new car” smell. This condo is for the latter group. Located in the newly-constructed Trevelyan House on sedate Ogden Street in Columbia Heights, this unit is like an iPad that you can live in. Even the building's white brick exterior and weirdly minimalistic shutters make it look like an Apple product.

The two-level interior is all muted tones and burnished steel handrails and recessed lighting. There are two bedrooms and two full baths; in the bathrooms, the sinks look like stacked slabs of porcelain, a mini-Stonehenge that you can spit into. The kitchen is equally sleek; I kept waiting for a robot to ask me what I wanted to drink. There's also a private patio and wireless is, of course, included in the condo fees (that may sound insignificant, but think about it for a second – no more hassles with Comcast, and what's more important than internet? My gas went out and I didn't miss a beat, I just turned on my space heater and ate out. The last

time my internet went down I felt like I'd been buried alive.) Columbia Heights still has a really cozy neighborhood vibe (translation: parking is impossible), and is close to pretty much everything, except for downtown. But then why would you want to go there? Downtown is for old people.

1436 Ogden St NW

Unit 3

Washington, DC 20010

2 Bdrms, 1.5 Baths

$389,000

Your Next Place

By Franklin Schneider

I remember walking past this house years ago, on my way to Adams Morgan, and seeing squatters lurking in the driveway. At one point, I'm pretty sure it didn't even have a front door. Now it's been exhaustively renovated and you can grab the penthouse unit (pictured) for just under $1.5 million. I'd buy it myself, but I'm poor.

The property is eye-catching even from afar, a hundred year old Victorian mansion with a circular driveway and grand entryway. Entering off 16th Street, you head up a winding staircase to the penthouse, encompassing the entire third level of the house. The place is open and bright, with beautiful blondish hardwood floors and exposed pitted brick. Those curved, wraparound windows face west onto 16th, and are right off an italian-style gourmet kitchen, outfitted with Miele and Bosch appliances that are more finely engineered than most cars. Even if you can't cook, you could store shoes in them or something. There's a gas fireplace in the living area, custom tiled baths, and the whole unit wired for ipods and surround sound. They've really thought of everything.

There are three bedrooms and two and a half baths, which are all quite nice, but the real draw here is the roof access. It's not the typical roof access where you have to climb up a shaky iron ladder bolted onto the side of a crumbling facade; the centerpiece of this unit is a floating staircase that leads up to a massive skylight that opens outward to allow you to walk right out onto a large roof deck. You can see almost all the way up to Meridian Hill Park from up there, and it would be a perfect place to relax on a warm evening, or to send your significant other when they're being annoying. (I'm sure I'd still be with my ex if we'd had a roof deck for "time out.") There's even a large glass firepit up there, for grilling and whatnot. I couldn't help but imagine myself living there, looking sympathetically down on passersby from my roof, nearly all of whom would no doubt live in inferior properties. "Do you have a glass firepit in your roof garden?" I would shout down with just a touch of smugness. I would probably do this semi-regularly until someone called the police on me.

1841 16th Street NW #4

Washington, DC

3 Bdrms, 2.1 Baths

Parking

$1,499,000

Your Next Place...

By Franklin Schneider

Buying property is definitely one of the major milestones in life, signifying "I am now an adult and an integrated member of society." Buying a place like this is sort of the next step, signifying "I am a god among men: bow before my twenty-five foot ceilings and private terrace (with a view of the Capitol)!!!” If I lived in a place like this, I'd carry pictures of it in my wallet.

Located in the 105 year old Bryan School, in Eastern Market, maybe my favorite DC neighborhood (busy but not as congested as Dupont or Adams Morgan, less stuffy and imposing than Georgetown or Capitol Hill proper), this place is an eye-opener for even the most jaded open houser. The first thing you notice when you walk in is that it's absolutely massive; with 25-foot ceilings that seem even higher, it feels like you could fly a kite in here. There are two bedrooms and two full baths spread out over 2400 square feet, and massive windows everywhere. It was overcast when I visited, but the place still seemed full of light. There's a spacious kitchen with granite countertops and a large bar, a dining area with a gas fireplace, a family room, and cherry floors. And topping it all off is a semi-autonomous den that opens via four sets of french doors onto a huge private terrace. From out on the roof you can see the Washington Monument and the Capitol, so close that it seems you might be able to throw a rock and hit the dome. If I wasn't such a patriotic American, I might try. (“But Officer, I have a constitutionally-protected right to political protest!”)

1315 INDEPENDENCE AVE SE
#PH34
WASHINGTON,DC 20003

$1,299,500
2 Bdrms, 2 Baths

Parking

Your Next Place...

By Franklin Schneider

Oh man, I really liked this place. I thought about hiding in a closet until after the agent left, calling a locksmith to change the locks, and then Photoshopping myself a deed to the place. The only thing that stopped me was the fact that I'm still on probation for the last time I tried that.

The unit's a massive New York-style loft in the old Rainbow Auto Body building on Church Street, a quiet-ish side street off 14th. Living here would be just like if you lived in Soho, but without all the models and artists corroding your self-esteem every time you leave the building. The developers have retained a lot of distinctive touches from the building's past life as an industrial space; exposed ductwork and steel beams give you that hint of authentic loft living, without the vermin and black mold of actually authentic loft living. There's a massive den area and a gas fireplace, along with huge
industrial-style windows and 14-foot ceilings. The
space is very bright and there's a feeling of open
space; I've been in a lot of smaller lofts with really high ceilings, and you sort of feel like a frog in a
bottle or something. I didn't feel like that here at all.

You can imagine the rest - exposed brick, hardwood floors and miles of granite counterspace. It's even got a roof deck if you need to take a breather from all this perfection. It's a block away from Whole Foods and Vida and all those restaurants and bars on P Street there, and three or four blocks from U Street. I mean, this place really could be the greatest bachelor (or bachelorette) pad of all time. That's it, this place is going on my Christmas list.

1445 Church Street NW #14
Washington, DC
1 Bdrm, 1.5 Baths
$599,000


Open house this Sunday 1-4

Photography by DS Creative Group