By Franklin Schneider
If they were making a remake of "Family Ties," they'd shoot it in this victorian rowhouse near U Street. That's how wholesome this place seemed, from the soft yellow-walled open living room, to the classic bay windows, to the multiple fireplaces and impeccable woodwork. (Though if the remake was true to the original, Alex P. Keaton would have to be a birther. So maybe scratch that idea.)
With four bedrooms over five levels, you've got suburban-type space but without the drawbacks of actually living in the suburbs (inexplicable lack of sidewalks, cultural irrelevance). The palatial master suite is on the top floor, and has a master bathroom with a jetted soaking tub and separate shower. The chef's kitchen has stainless steel appliances and granite countertops, and there are two, yes two, decks. I have just one deck and when I had a party last week I had to cram the people I liked and the people I secretly disliked onto the same deck, so I had to constantly switch from sincere sincerity to fake sincerity. It was exhausting. Two decks is definitely the way to go. There's also a surround sound system installed throughout the house, so you can inflict, er, share your music with everyone else in the house. Also, the house is just blocks from U Street, with its profusion of fantastic boutiques, restaurants, nightclubs, and endless crowds of people walking up and back, looking for something they can't quite name and will mostly likely never find.
Downstairs is a legal, one bedroom rental unit to rent to a gullible intern to defray the cost of your mortgage, and upstairs is a spacious attic, convenient for storing all those things you don't want or need but can't quite bring yourself to throw out, like birthday presents from your parents. (For my last birthday, my mother bought me an XXXL Tommy Hilfiger stars-n-stripes rugby shirt. I burst into laughter, thinking it was a hilarious joke, but then I saw her expression. Oops! )
2134 13th St NW
Washington, DC 20009
4 Bdrms, 3.5 Baths