Tuesday, January 08, 2013

Your Next Place

This fantastic house is truly one of a kind; from the front, the house is subtly set at an angle to the street, and features a large, perfectly round porthole-like window.  The rear, which faces the woods, is a long flat plane that has more windows than Microsoft headquarters.  (Been waiting to use that one for months.)

Inside, it's got fantastically high lofted ceilings, minimalistic white walls, and incredible views from every room.  It's like an urban ski lodge decorated by Stanley Kubrick.  The living room is a huge open space built around a fireplace, and the only slightly smaller family room features three, yes, three separate sets of French doors (or, as I like to call them, "freedom doors") leading outside.  Elsewhere, the master bedroom is just HUGE, and has three closets, each of which is larger than my entire apartment.  The master bath is a super-edgy, spartan porcelain chamber, with a glass-walled shower and a sweet soaking tub, like a really hip art gallery with a toilet in the middle.

The lower level is an in-law suite that you could rent out, or just use as an emergency "this marriage sucks, I'm living downstairs this week" bunker, like my parents do.  Across the entire rear of the house is a huge wooden deck, from which you look out into some legitimate woods.  Not the usual forest-ish wooded areas in the city, where even with full leaf cover you can still see your neighbor doing a Zumba DVD in their living room through gaps in the canopy.  This is serious greenery, where if you hear a growling sound out there while sitting on your deck at night, you should probably just start randomly firing your shotgun into the dark, like Yosemite Sam or something.  When the cops show up, just tell them a real estate blog told you to do it.  I'm sure that'll go over really well.

6633 31st Street NW 
5 Bedrooms, 3.5 Baths


Evan on Jan 8, 2013, 1:54:00 PM said...

Looks like those oh-so-80s contemporary homes in Reston, but it's not so bad since the at least some of the interiors been renovated.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe you wrote "...just start randomly firing your shotgun into the dark." I have a good sense of humor, but considering what's been happening lately, this isn't the least bit funny.

Anonymous said...

Great write up. Fabulous sense of humor.

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