Saturday, April 02, 2011

Your Next Place...


By Franklin Schneider Located in the landmark Solo Piazza (which loosely translates as "shoe pizza"), this stunning unit just didn't feel like D.C., which I mean as a compliment. While D.C has its charms, it tends, like its inhabitants, towards the straight, the square, the blocky and obvious and functional. This place actually reminded me more of Los Angeles, only without all the dudes with blond streaks in their hair, wearing those tearaway pants with three white stripes down the side (and you just know they're not wearing underwear either). Progressive but refined, and graceful. A curving space with hardwood floors, it looks out onto a private patio that features a sedate waterwall and 40 ft. grove of bamboo. Sliding walls of frosted glass (sliding doors are so 2009) separate the bedrooms from the shared areas, and the kitchen is outfitted with Poggenpohle cabinets, stainless steel appliances, and a marble breakfast bar. The bathrooms are nicer than most five-star hotel rooms, there are a ton of closets for all your crap, and everything, from the faucets to the cabinets to the tilework, gives the impression of having been painstakingly handpicked. It also comes with two underground parking spots, so you won't have to worry about your ex keying your car anymore. Located just off Logan Circle, you'd have quick access to Whole Foods, a ton of great restaurants, and the 14th Street nightlife corridor which, for my money, is by far the least horrible place in D.C to get a drink. I head there every weekend - I'm the guy at the end of the bar who looks like a half-Asian Jeff Foxworthy. If I try to talk to you, just throw some change on the ground and then run. That usually works. Usually. 1300 13th St NW #107 Washington, DC 2 Bedrooms, 2 Baths, 2 Parking Spaces $899,000

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Is "shoe pizza" supposed to be an April Fool's translation of the Italian words "solo piazza?" Solo in Italian means only, and piazza means courtyard/square. A loose translation could be "all courtyard" but not "shoe pizza."

Anonymous said...

Um, okay, not to be TOO serious about this, 'cuz I'm pretty sure "show pizza" was a joke, but in this case, it's actually "SoLo," as in South of Logan.

Anonymous said...

I meant "shoe pizza" aboe

Anonymous said...

Shoe pizza, really? If you are trying to promote this place you should put more effort into it... SoLo Piazza as in South of Logan Courtyard is more like it.

Anonymous said...

I thought shoe pizza was funny..and obvioulsy meant as a joke, hence the disclaimer "loosely translated".
...albeit, so loosely translated as to not be translated at all.

Anonymous said...

It was just offbeat humor. I thought it was funny and it made me keep reading. I think most people know the correct English translation of the Italian "solo" and "piazza." Signed, Random Reader not associated with this blog

Anonymous said...

Great apartment if you want to pay 900k to live in a department store window. Aside from the fact that all the rooms are the SIZE of department store windows (living room not big enough for a couch), the entire place fronts floor to ceiling windows onto a first floor common area courtyard with little light. Very bizarre...

Anonymous said...

Those apartments are a show room. Everybody can see everything. I like the super crunchy fountain and paving to try and offset the incredibly cold and modernist courtyard. The name is apt in it's absurdity.

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