Saturday, December 31, 2011

Your Next Place

By Franklin Schneider

This Georgian red-brick colonial is not just beautiful and sophisticated, it's a big bad hunk o' house, and I mean that in the nicest way possible. Just look at it; it seems to exude strength and solidity and security. You want this house to be your dad. I feel like a meteor could strike this house and would just bounce off, with maybe minor damage to the gutters or something.

Located on an extremely quiet street (I tiptoed to and from my car), the interior of the house is just as striking as the exterior. The huge living room boasts a fireplace, and the formal dining room is so nice it's almost a shame to just use it for sitting around and shoveling back Tater Tots while listening to your relatives hold forth on current events. (“Instead of Occupying Wall Street, they should try to get jobs there, I heard those bankers make a lot of money!” Actual unironic quote from my Thanksgiving. It's important to note that this person also thinks the greatest president of her lifetime was “Jim W. Bush.”) Gleaming hardwood floors throughout, recessed lighting, crown moldings, four large bedrooms, a stunning sunroom.

Last but certainly not least, my favorite thing about this place was the fantastic garden in back, with a large stone patio, fully fenced in and extremely private. You could totally sunbathe in the nude back here with no fear of being spied upon. In fact, I gave it a try, but I'd barely gotten my pants off before the agent pepper-sprayed me.

4504 Burlington Place, NW
4 Bedrooms, 3 Baths


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