Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Your Next Place

By Franklin Schneider

This is the first time this victorian-style home has been on the market since 1961. I don't think you could come up with a more powerful endorsement for a place: "we liked it so much we stayed for half a century." You know how we all know that one hilarious, brilliant, gorgeous person who are always in a relationship, and when they hit the market like every five years everyone around them goes temporarily insane and dumps their significant others and basically follows them around like whipped puppies? This house is the real estate equivalent to that perfect person! Go ahead and drunk-dial it and be like, "Forreal, I've always thought you were the only person to really get me, you know that right?!" Better yet, show up out front late at night holding a boombox over your head! Hey, it worked in a movie - it must be a good idea!

Seriously though, it's easy to see why they stayed for so long. (Sadly, they're only leaving now for health-related reasons.) I mean, they really don't make them like this anymore. This house defines authenticity - it still has the original wood floors and custom moldings, six (!) fireplaces, immaculately aged wallpaper, vintage light fixtures, all of it lovingly maintained. The ceilings are 10.5 feet high and the rooms are large and spacious, there's a rare mature rose garden, and a large, private patio.

My personal favorite was the sleeping porch - some of my fondest memories from childhood are sleeping out on the screened-in porch in the summer, watching fireflies. They're right up there at the very top with my memories of that time I threw a snowball at a car, the driver got out and chased me for two or three, and ended up having a (mild) heart attack just as he was got me cornered. True story! (And people wonder why I don't want to have kids - it's because they're evil!)

1519 31st Street NW
Washington D.C.
5 Bedrooms, 3.5 Baths

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