A Jewel Box for Literary Gems

Q&A with Michael Wiencek

By Beth Herman

Opening in June, the 22,500 s.f. Francis A. Gregory Library, 2100 36^th Place SE, was the result of a collaborative effort between London- and New York-based Adjaye Associates, charged with the design, and architect of record Wiencek & Associates. DCMud talked with Principal Michael Wiencek about influences and site challenges the LEED Silver building posed.

DCMud: You are known to specialize in what some have called transformative multifamily housing. How did this inform your work on the Francis A. Gregory Library?

Wiencek:  We knew that Ginnie Cooper, chief librarian for D.C., was interested in making libraries iconic, even though they may be neighborhood or branch libraries. She has the same passion about changing people’s lives through her libraries as we have about changing them through our multifamily housing. Ginnie wants people, and kids in particular, to start to view the library as an asset. Just like our housing—when we’re designing something in a disadvantaged neighborhood, we’re always trying to do something that raises the level of design quality people are used to. It gives them a boost of self-esteem. In the library’s case, it draws you to it so you’re utilizing something you may not have.

DCMud: So children factor into the space in a very special way.

Wiencek: The formative years really make a big difference in your life, so you’re experiencing good architecture and by virtue of that you’re pulled into this building.

DCMud: What did you find at ground zero, and what was the genesis of the design?

Wiencek: In both this library and the William O. Lockridge/ Bellevue Neighborhood Library’s case, we replaced two 1950s brick boxes with no character, ambience or design whatsoever. David Adjaye’s inspiration for this building was a fabric jewel box, which appears to be how he does a lot of his designs. He works from an object.

DCMud: Simplistically, the building has been compared to a large, beveled mirror. What can you tell us about the process?

Wiencek: The curtain wall (glazing) systems that we used on the two libraries did not exist before they were built. We worked with the manufacturer to design two new systems. In a normal building, the curtain wall is an aluminum frame that hangs off the building and carries the glass. In this case it is laminated wood—of course renewable— that carries the glass. Also, there are varying diamond shapes. They may look very uniform when you first see them, but each one is different: The angle of the curtain wall is changing at each facet. There are only one or two pieces of glass that are actually the same size in that building. Adjaye also didn’t want to have columns sitting out there as support systems. So we made the curtain wall become the structure at the perimeter. And the grillage canopy which floats above the roof has a similar faceting design to it.

DCMud: Describe the site and any site challenges.

Wiencek: The library abuts National Park Service land at the rear with lots of trees. It’s the jewel box sitting on the street, playing against nature. In fact if you go at the right time of day, the building almost disappears because the glass has some reflectivity to it and reflects the trees from across the street and in front and in back. What everybody sees as this very structured, rigid frame design sort of disappears.

Parking was a challenge, as it went on the old site and there was none. But it is near main transit lines, and these libraries are meant to be within walking distance of the surrounding community.

To make our building work we had to keep a wall from the original library there, or we’d have had to encroach on the Park Service land. We wanted to use a small portion of their land as access, but that was not allowed as it is a national park. If you stand in the library and look back into the park land, it slopes down and away. If we could have cleared some of the undergrowth and made a lawn below the trees, it could have been an even more amazing space. Looking down at that park would have made it an experience like being at an art gallery—the trees like sculpture sitting out on the landscape.

DCMud: What about your own landscape? How did you come to your specialty in the area of affordable housing?

Wiencek: At the beginning of my career (1978), I met an architect at the very end of his: Hilyard Robinson. The auditorium at the Howard University School of Architecture is named after him, where he was on the faculty. He was an African American architect who started practicing in the 1930s, and did a lot of the housing near Gallaudet University like Langston Terrace. His buildings were geared toward affordable housing, but the results had a lot of design and respect for the people who were going to live there. He put so much thought into this work, and we had many talks about why he’d done what he’d done.

My father was director of personnel at NIH, and he’d always talked about social justice. He was all about creating jobs for all kinds of people back in the ‘60s when it wasn’t yet part of the culture. Between the two of them, it gave me the desire to make a difference and respect people through architecture. I hope to get the chance to renovate some of Hilyard Robinson’s buildings.

10 Questions with ... Harriet Tregoning

10 Questions is a new weekly feature in which we interview some of the leading District figures in real estate, architecture, development, and planning. This week's subject ... Harriet Tregoning, Director of the Washington DC Office of Planning.

One of the country's leading advocates of "smart growth," Tregoning has spearheaded the District's shift from an undirected, auto-centric hodgepodge to a bikeable, pedestrian-friendly 21st century community.  If you've used a bike lane, walked home with groceries, or commuted to or from work in less than thirty minutes, you probably owe her some thanks.



1.  What's a typical day for you?

Get up and get dressed; walk dogs; check text messages and answer overnight emails; bike to first meeting of the day, maybe somewhere downtown.  Go on to the office and work with staff on a couple of on-going plans and projects.  Head to the Wilson Building for a meeting with colleagues (from other agencies) or meet with Council staff.  Grab a late lunch somewhere, maybe a food truck near L’Enfant Plaza on the way back to the office.  Return calls, send emails, check Twitter, read.  Then I might host one or two more meetings --with residents who have concerns about their neighborhood, a land owner who has a project they want to see if they could build in DC, or a non-profit about what we could do together to solve a particular DC problem, e.g., like producing and retaining affordable housing or helping make fresh and healthy food more available throughout the city.

After leaving the office for the day, I might attend a community meeting, give a talk, or hear a lecture- that’s how I spend a typical evening.  If I am free, I might meet my husband for dinner in our neighborhood or play a quick game of tennis under the lights at Banneker.

2.  What or who is your biggest influence?

I just got back from a gathering I really love – once or twice a year I get together with the Planning Chiefs in the top 30 largest American cities, many of whom are doing amazing things to make their cities more livable, sustainable, economically competitive and diverse.  Their work is really inspiring.


3.  What neighborhood do you live in?

Columbia Heights


4.  What is your biggest DC pet peeve?

I don’t know if this is my BIGGEST DC pet peeve, but the bike/ped/car culture wars have been well covered.

So, TREES, specifically street trees.  They have a very hard and very important job in the city.  They make the city more beautiful – our streets with mature trees and a canopy that arches over the street are some of the most magnificent places in the city.  They provide all kinds of shelter from the elements – protection from rain or snow, shade when it’s too hot and sunny.  Compared to pavement or asphalt, they literally help to cool the city.  They help manage the peak surge of stormwater when there is heavy rainfall; they provide habitat; when mature, they create both a vertical element along the street that provides both a more distinct edge, and a sense of enclosure – to drivers, the street seems more narrow, and their speeds are lower.  For pedestrians, they create a physical buffer from cars and traffic.

We have a goal for the city of 40% tree canopy (we are at about 35% today), but most of our residents and businesses don’t know that THEY are responsible for watering the trees in front of their property and especially helping to establish young trees when they first get planted.  They need about 20-25 gallons of water per week.  So we have a very high mortality rate for our urban trees and we need help from our residents and businesses to get all those benefits that come from mature trees in our city.

5.  What is the #1 most played song on your iPod?

With Arms Outstretched, Rilo Kiley


6.  Favorite DC haunt?

Room 11 Patio and Banneker Tennis Courts – I probably spend the most time there after work and home.


7.  What's your favorite thing to do on a Sunday afternoon?

Long dog walk, and then hang out at Meridian Hill Park


8.  If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

Here!


9.  If you couldn't be an urban planner/smart growth advocate, what would you be?

A book editor or publisher.


10.  Name one thing most people don't know about you.

I play the cello - very, very badly.

Your Next Place

This stunning townhouse sports a limestone facade, which means that, what, it'll dissolve like tissue paper if exposed to Coca-Cola?  I only vaguely remember high school science class, as I was sleep-deprived and sexually frustrated the whole time.  And high.  (I just got really depressed, writing that paragraph, when I realized that nothing has changed.)

The house features a one of a kind recessed arch "porte-cochere" entrance, which is French for "always leave the outside light on or a homeless person will sleep there."  With almost six thousand square feet of space, this house sports four fireplaces AND an elevator - I was almost disappointed when I looked into the elevator and there wasn't another small fireplace inside.  The formal dining and living rooms are "Great Gatsby"-level nice, and the kitchen is huge, with a glass-enclosed eat-in dining area that looks out onto the rolling backyard.

The master bath is incredibly glamorous; you could shoot a rap video in here.  It's got more mirrors than suburban hotel's honeymoon suite (with none of the hidden cameras!), and twin vanities separated by a plush little bench, so whoever finishes getting ready first can sit there and offer super helpful unsolicited advice to the other.  ("I'd never tell you what to wear, but that dress makes you look like an obese wet clown.")  There's a stunning, presidential-quality office (with a fireplace), and au pair suite for the stunning eastern european you hired to take care of your kids.  (I'll let you decide if "kids" in this context is a euphemism or not.)  Out back is a flagstone patio, surrounded by greenery and wrought-iron fencing.

The top level is a huge entertaining area that opens onto an equally huge roof deck; I feel like the buyer of this house should have to sign a legally binding contract promisng to throw parties here.  Not using such a fantastic space would be like buying the Mona Lisa and then locking it into a closet.  It belongs to the world!

2328 Massachusetts Avenue NW
4 Bedrooms, 4.5 Baths
$3,295,000

Hine School Project: Planning Not Quite Done

Sometimes ‘final’ doesn’t mean final. Exhibit A: the DC Zoning Commission’s meeting on Monday night to take final action on Capitol Hill’s Hine School development.

Developers Stanton/EastBanc may have arrived at the meeting expecting a resolution of zoning issues, but it turned out that the commissioners weren’t quite done. A host of questions arose that the developers will need to respond to by October 29th, and the topic will be taken up again by the Commission, probably on November 19th.

The commissioners spent almost an hour going over details of the project and materials that the developers had turned in following the most recent zoning meeting on September 10, and came up with new questions. Many of the issues were quite technical, covering topics like the District’s First Source hiring policy and the construction management agreement; others, such as whether trucks would have adequate space to unload, were slightly broader. But the result is a slowed down process for Stanton/EastBanc, which may have to re-open discussions with the local ANC in order to resolve the questions that the committee posed.

“We were obviously disappointed that the final vote didn’t happen last night, since we’re on a tight timeframe; we need to move forward to close on land and start construction,” explained Mary Mottershead, EastBanc’s head of development. “Some of the items won’t be ready for completion when we need the [permits] for building,” she worried.

The Hine School project—which will include residential units and ground floor retail in Capitol Hill’s busy Eastern Market area—has moved slowly since it was awarded to the developers September 2009. Intense community engagement has necessitated a bevy of meetings and consultations, and numerous revisions, and these final zoning commission meetings are the result of roughly 15 hours of hearings that occurred over the summer.

Still, even as the development team responds to the questions that arose, they are focused on the future, said Mottershead. “We’re still moving forward,” she said. “We’re working on construction drawings and permit plans, and we’re hopeful the next meeting will be the last one.”

Washington D.C. real estate development news

Arts at 5th and I Finally Moving Forward?

At a Mount Vernon Square Neighborhood Association meeting last night, a Donohoe Companies representative explained the firm’s new plans for the long, long, long awaited Arts at 5th & I project, a real estate development deal initially announced back in September 2008.

The good news: the project, located just off Massachusetts Avenue at the corner of 5th and I streets NW, is apparently finally moving forward, according to its developers. The bad news: completion won't be until 2016, and the ‘arts’ element that gave the project its name has largely disappeared, and the development itself seems to have been distinctly scaled back from earlier iterations.

Renderings from the project's website

Jad Donohoe explained the company’s plans to roughly 15 residents gathered for the community organization’s monthly meeting, though he didn't have any new visual images to release. The new concept includes a boutique hotel with an entrance on 5th Street, and an adjoining apartment building facing I Street that will hold roughly 140 units and max out the height. The project will include at least 4,000 square feet of ground floor retail space; most of that will be dedicated to a large restaurant connected to the hotel and also accessible from 5th Street, but plans include a smaller space on I Street as well. Three levels of underground parking will be accessible from an I Street entrance.

The firm’s initial plans were considerably more ambitious. They included a high-end hotel, residential units (including almost a third that would be tagged as affordable), intriguing artsy elements like a jazz club and art gallery, and a range of retail options like a bicycle store, hardware shop and bookstore.

Not all of those bells and whistles are gone. Approximately 8 percent of the new apartment building’s units will be affordable, and Zenith Gallery may utilize some space in the hotel’s lobby. And Donohoe pointed out that the company is still communicating with the Boisdale Jazz Club, a London-based chain of nightclubs.

But the new plans are much more somber, and that’s largely the result of unfortunate timing. Donohoe Companies won the city’s bidding process in 2008, and funding for projects like this one simply dried up (though that funding had dried up before the bid). Since then, a range of plans have been presented but never acted upon, and the site is currently used as a parking lot and weekly outdoor market. That gives this version a distinct advantage—as long as it becomes a reality. “This isn’t as grand as we’d have liked, but we want to get it done,” said Donohoe.

The timeline goes something like this: On November 13, the Deputy Mayor’s Office for Economic Development will hold a surplus meeting to sign the land over to the Donohoe Companies. The city will package the documents and pass them along to the City Council by the end of November, and the City Council should approve them sometime early in 2013. The company will spend the next 13 months working with architects, getting permits, and acquiring financing before breaking ground in early 2014.

“That’s generally pretty quick, though it sounds far away,” explained Donohoe. The project would be done 24 months later.

The gathered residents didn’t seem to mind the long time horizon; most were relieved to hear that the project was finally moving forward. Donohoe acknowledged the long wait. “I know this has been a slog,” he admitted.  And its not over yet.

Washington, DC, real estate development news

Champlain Street Condos Set to Break Ground

One of the very last infill sites on Champlain Street in Adams Morgan is set to begin a transformation into a condo building in the next sixty days.

Presently a surface parking lot, the site at 2337 Champlain Street NW is being developed by Federal Capital Partners, in conjunction with Altus Realty Partners.  Designed by PGN Architects, the first renderings released to the public show a modern steel-and-glass complex that's very much similar to the neighboring condo building on Champlain, such as the Lofts at Adams Morgan, and Adams Row.

"The project on Champlain has not been named yet," according to Karen Widmayer, spokesperson for developer Federal Capital Partners.  "The project will have 41 condos with on-site parking in garage and surface lots.  It's scheduled to break ground prior to the end of the year, pending required approvals."

Federal Capital Partners acquired the site in July 2011 for $3.55 million, from WWYP LLC, who acquired it back in June 2005 for $1.9 million.  The condominium will take up the vacant lot next to the former Brass Knob warehouse, which is has also been the subject of redevelopment efforts, but will not be incorporated into the old warehouse.

Washington D.C. real estate development news

PN Hoffman's "Northern Exchange" Opens on 14th

"Northern Exchange", Rendering courtesy PN Hoffman

This weekend, the former switching station for the Chesapeake & Potomac Telephone Company at 14th and R Streets, NW, built in 1903, re-opened as "The Northern Exchange," a 36-unit "loft-style" condo delivered by PN Hoffman.  Eric Colbert and Associates are behind the design, which converts the deep building with two sides of windows into units averaging about 650 square feet.  Construction is not yet complete - some units on the third, fourth, and fifth floors are still under construction, but some lower units were on view this weekend.

The newly-converted condominium building is smaller than most new loft buildings, but the design focuses on efficient use of space, which lies at the doorstep of the thriving 14th Street corridor.  While square footage is on the smaller side, ceiling height and window sizes benefit from the building's original design.  Some units feature windows over nine feet in height.

"Northern Exchange" model unit

The smallest units are 550 s.f. and feature raised living areas above the kitchen accessed by a ship's ladder.   Because of the historic use of space - the third floor housed telephone lines - some units feature 16-foot ceilings.  Developers have left original terra cotta ceilings on the second and third floors and the fourth and fifth floors feature exposed concrete ceilings. 

Some of the units slated for completion within the next three weeks still have the original heart-of-pine flooring, some of it one inch thick.  Bao Vuong, PN Hoffman's development manager on the project, said condos feature original exposed brick and some of the original steel columns.

"We've painted them with intumescent paint to try to highlight them," Vuong told DCMud. Painting the steel columns also involved fire-protecting them, not a cheap process.  "It's much cheaper to cover them up, but since they add so much character we have tried to do that," he said.  He said the units would be ready for move-in during the first quarter of next year.

Vastu, a 14th Street a interior design firm and modern furnishing dealer, worked to prepare the model units for the recent open house. "Vastu and PN Hoffman have been fortunate to work together on numerous projects over the years," Jason Claire, co-owner of Vastu, told DCmud. He said the project was also unique in that the condos were built in a historic building, unlike most other condos in the neighborhood, which are predominantly new construction.  "For the models, the look is warm, modern with a nod to a rustic industrial aesthetic picking up on the industrial architecture of the building," Claire said.

Haute from a Tote

Q&A with Carol Freedman of Carol Freedman Design

By Beth Herman

Celebrated for the abundant colors that define her work, interior designer Carol Freedman of Carol Freedman Design spoke with DCMud about an unusual commission: designing a house around the colors in a tote bag.

DCMud: So much of your world is about the unabashed use of color, accordingly what made the redesign of this residence different?

Freedman:  The inspiration for this 8,000 s.f. Bethesda house was a tote bag that the client really loved. It had geometric patterns of leaves: a rust leaf; turquoise leaf; an olive leaf; a caramel leaf; a black leaf. And her color preferences were also deeper than many I’ve used before, as exemplified in the tote which was our canvas.

DCMud: So how did the tote manifest itself in the home?

Freedman: To begin with, there are three floors, and the back of the house faces dense forest with a beautiful woodland view. We started in the great room with a large custom round patterned Odegard rug from Nepal. I then found this geometric fabric that picked up all of her colors and decided it would be great to use a fair amount of it, but not too much to overpower the room. So we used solids for the base of the couch and the chairs, applying the fabric for all the sofa’s throw pillows and back pillows. A complementary floral fabric from the same company is on some chairs, which pick up all those beautiful colors.

DCMud: In a previous story we did together, the inspiration for a home came from a painting. Though this home’s design was predicated on a tote bag, what about the spirited artwork in so many of the rooms—particularly the diptych in the living room?

Freedman: We wanted some really dynamic art on the walls, and my client and I fell in love with Susan Finsen who does exquisite work at the Torpedo Factory Art Center in Alexandria. This was a custom commission we did, based on one of her previous designs, where she employed our colors with her artistic sense.

DCMud: The home’s master bedroom also appears to reflect the tote’s theme.

Freedman: I found the rug first, which picked up a lot of the same colors I used in the great room. The client already had the custom wood furniture, so I wanted a color on the walls that would make the furniture sing. We used turquoise from the tote, and then found this wonderful Duralee geometric pattern with turquoise and orange in it. Though many clients would be afraid to use such a bold pattern, this client was daring enough to use it on the window treatments. My favorite kind of person! The fabric on the bed is Donghia—more subtle with intricate designs that complemented the bold area rug.

DCMud: What about the art which, in the best sense, appears almost indistinguishable from the space—as if it was born there.

Freedman: It’s another piece by Susan Finsen—a spectacular artist in our region.

DCMud: How did you design spaces for family fun in this residence?

Freedman: Because the game room is adjacent to the great room, we used a deeper caramel color (seen in the tote bag) which flatters the rich-looking pool table. The client already had a suspended art deco light fixture. She and her family are avid baseball fans, and coincidentally Susan Finsen had designed these silkscreens of baseball fields around the country, so she custom colorized them for this space.

DCMud: Embracing your color addiction, it seems you might be drawn to D.C. spaces that speak to this.

Freedman: One of my favorite parts of D.C. is the area of 14^th and U Streets. I absolutely love jazz, both of my sons are jazz musicians, and the area is riddled with jazz clubs. We also love the great restaurants there, particularly Masa 14 and Estadio. What I love about Masa 14 is the juxtaposition of natural wood finishes, brick and metal, and the use of black, with a pop of red in the simple pendant light fixtures. It’s got that urban modern aesthetic going on with exposed metal ductwork. It feels hip, modern and earthy all at the same time.

photos courtesy of Anice Hoachlander

Micro-units at The Wharf Could Be D.C.'s First

D.C.'s first micros?  Rendering: Hoffman-Madison

From a tiny flat on the Potomac waterfront, a young man stands looking dreamily out a floor-to-ceiling corner window.  He is only part of a rendering now, but in four years his small home will be real. Apartments at The Wharf, a massive public-private development planned for DC's Southwest Waterfront, could be the city's first micro-units.  The future building is at the corner of Maine Avenue SW and 9th Street SW.

The planned units measure just 330 square feet - about 30 square meters - to 380 square feet and feature sweeping views of the water.  The water is the focal point for this $1.5 billion 35-acre project, a public-private partnership between Hoffman-Madison Waterfront and the District of Columbia.  Perkins Eastman of DC is the residential and retail architect for the building called "Parcel 2", which will house the micro-units.  Rockwell Group is behind designs for the theater planned for the same building.

Micro-unit rendering: Hoffman-Madison

The micro-units could be the first in a new development for the District.  Another developer planned some for Chinatown, but those were never built. In July, 60 percent of respondents to a survey by UrbanTurf said they would consider living in a 275 to 300 square foot apartment.  And with a trend in micro-unit housing sweeping the country thanks in part to a smaller-is-better way of viewing housing, it was only a matter of time before über-small apartments arrived in D.C.   In July, New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg announced a design competition to design 300 square foot apartments.

With the city adding about 1,100 residents per month and 70 percent of those new residents under the age of 35 (statistics that Office of Planning director Harriet Tregoning is fond of citing), DC's growth is creating a veritable perfect storm for micro-units.

"Parcel 2", water side. Rendering: Hoffman-Madison

"Smaller units are flying off the shelf," said Matt Steenhoek, Associate Development Director with Hoffman-Madison Waterfront.  He said a small team from Hoffman-Madison Waterfront took a look at trends, demographic forecasts, and a growing "less is more" aesthetic.  The decision to put micro-units in Parcel 2 made sense, he said.  The building will have 500 residential units, 40 percent of which will be studio apartments, though not all in the 300 square foot range.

According to Steenhoek, developers took a look at demand forecasts for the next 20 years, as well as demographic trends: those point to smaller household sizes and people staying single longer. "Some of the housing that has been historically built will be somewhat obsolete," Steenhoek said. "We were looking at all these things and having this conversations in a small group and saying what we can we do and how can we be a market leader in that market for the District."

Rendering: Hoffman-Madison Waterfront

According to developers, the planned micro-units will feature built-in furniture and cabinetry, small appliances and wall-beds. "The idea is that someone could move in with one suitcase," Steenhoek told DCMud.  Data from the OP shows D.C.'s new, young residents aren't bringing much furniture - or cars - creating a niche for furnished apartments.

All units will feature large windows and some will have small French balconies, features designed to open up the spaces and make them feel larger.

Rendering: Hoffman-Madison Waterfont

"Parcel 2", Maine Avenue frontage. Hoffman-Madison Waterfron

Amenities are key to The Wharf's micro-unit concept - a concept that sees micro-units as launch pads for engagement with walkable, 24-hour urban offerings and symbols of freedom from suburban commutes.

Developers are betting micro-units will help help achieve that vision - a vision focused on the urban and social life outside right one's doors. "In that sort of paradigm you can live in a very efficient space because you are not spending every hour in there - you are out in your environment," said Steenhoek.

Parcel 2 plans call for a rooftop terrace and pool,  as well as a cultural performing arts center with a 6,000-person capacity. A co-generation plant is planned to power the building.  Affordable and workforce housing will be mixed throughout market-rate units and offered in all unit sizes, including for micro-units. Plans for the larger development, The Wharf, call for 3.2 million square feet of development, including offices, apartments, and a four-star InterContinental Hotel, four piers, and a three-acre park.

Parcel 2, as well as the larger Phase One, Stage Two development plan for The Wharf, have already received design concept approval from the U.S. Commission of Fine Arts. After five hearings before the DC Zoning Commission in July, the plans should get a preliminary decision from the Commission by the end of October.  Developers expect to break ground in 2013.  The answer to the question of what life will be like in a D.C. micro unit will have to wait for a while: they won't be delivered until late 2016 or early 2017.

The Wharf's "Parcel 2" Floor Plan. Rendering courtesy Hoffman-Madison Waterfront

Your Next Place

This 1885 red-brick Victorian was exhaustively renovated in 2006, making it the perfect blend of the best things old and new.  Sort of the opposite of my house, which is the perfect blend of the worst things old (lead paint, horribly inefficient steam radiators) and new (cheap storm windows that don't close all the way, a "Did I Do That?" Steve Urkel poster that's been permanently steamed onto my bathroom wall.)

There's an excellent foyer with a little airlock-like entryway between two doors, so cold air doesn't rush in during the winter, and which you can also use as a sort of holding pen for prospective guests.  ("Sorry, I just now noticed you're wearing flip-flops, I can't let you come into the party.  Sorry.")  The salmon-walled, glass-front-cabineted kitchen has more personality than the love child of Oscar Wilde and Nicki Minaj (so the rumors ARE true!), and opens onto a small family room, which makes a crap-ton of sense since everyone eats dinner in front of the television now anyway.  (Not only do I eat while watching television, I've starved myself for two or three hypoglycemic hours just so I could eat dinner during my favorite show.  Yes, I'm thirty-four years old.)

Upstairs you have the luxurious master bedroom suite, and a five-star marble-lined, glass-doored master bath that's so nice you could reasonably pretend you're George Clooney at his Italian Lake Como villa, just make sure you don't look into any reflective surfaces and shatter the illusion. There's a garage too, so you don't have to endure the neverending Kafkaesque hassle of street parking.  I recently had to look after a friend's car for a couple weeks while she was out of town, and I swear the city is playing a practical joke on us with those parking signs.  "Two hour parking:  All cars will be towed after ninety minutes, except on weekdays and weekends, when all parking is prohibited.  Just kidding.  Possibly."

1518 T Street NW
2 Bedrooms, 2.5 Baths
$1,495,000