Sunday, October 14, 2012

Your Next Place

This 1885 red-brick Victorian was exhaustively renovated in 2006, making it the perfect blend of the best things old and new.  Sort of the opposite of my house, which is the perfect blend of the worst things old (lead paint, horribly inefficient steam radiators) and new (cheap storm windows that don't close all the way, a "Did I Do That?" Steve Urkel poster that's been permanently steamed onto my bathroom wall.)

There's an excellent foyer with a little airlock-like entryway between two doors, so cold air doesn't rush in during the winter, and which you can also use as a sort of holding pen for prospective guests.  ("Sorry, I just now noticed you're wearing flip-flops, I can't let you come into the party.  Sorry.")  The salmon-walled, glass-front-cabineted kitchen has more personality than the love child of Oscar Wilde and Nicki Minaj (so the rumors ARE true!), and opens onto a small family room, which makes a crap-ton of sense since everyone eats dinner in front of the television now anyway.  (Not only do I eat while watching television, I've starved myself for two or three hypoglycemic hours just so I could eat dinner during my favorite show.  Yes, I'm thirty-four years old.)

Upstairs you have the luxurious master bedroom suite, and a five-star marble-lined, glass-doored master bath that's so nice you could reasonably pretend you're George Clooney at his Italian Lake Como villa, just make sure you don't look into any reflective surfaces and shatter the illusion. There's a garage too, so you don't have to endure the neverending Kafkaesque hassle of street parking.  I recently had to look after a friend's car for a couple weeks while she was out of town, and I swear the city is playing a practical joke on us with those parking signs.  "Two hour parking:  All cars will be towed after ninety minutes, except on weekdays and weekends, when all parking is prohibited.  Just kidding.  Possibly."

1518 T Street NW
2 Bedrooms, 2.5 Baths


Anonymous said...

Considering the expansive front and back yards, the large side yards, and the fact that it is only minutes from the beach, this property is definitely worth $1.5 million.

Oh, wait, it's in D.C. and only a few blocks from Section 8 housing and plenty of crime? The price must be a typo.

Anonymous said...

1.5 mil for a 2 bedroom in barely U St. corridor...are you smoking CRACK!

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