Your Next Place

By Franklin Schneider

This fully-renovated Federal is bright, open, and worth every penny - the complete opposite of my ex! (Canned laughter) But seriously, I loved everything about this place, from the fantastic, light-filled living room (check out those built-ins) to the long dining room, to the dynamic floor plan. My favorite part was that the huge chef's kitchen is open to the den and family room, so you can continually shout helpful suggestions to the cook from your spot in front of the tv until they throw a wokful of hot vegetables at you and demand a divorce.

The palatial master bedroom suite sports a MASSIVE walk-in closet (it made me realize for the first time that there's no such thing as a "hoarder," only someone with insufficient storage), and a separate powder room. If I had a room like this, I'd start wearing makeup, just because. I've always thought it was unfair anyway that women get to draw circles around their eyes so they look bigger and rub brightly colored wax on their lips to make them look like a delicious piece of candy, while men get, what - ties? They're just big cloth arrows pointing at our ill-fitting pants. Not fair.

The lower level is a beautiful in-law suite - far too good for your actual in-laws, which is exactly what they think of their daughter compared to you. So that works. The house is also on a nice sedate(ish) one-way street, which should not be undervalued. I've lived on both, and living on a two-way street after living on a one-way, it feels like my house is beside an airport runway now. Out back is a splendid deck-n-garden and a two car garage - you can either park two cars in there or just sort of slide in sideways with one car like they do in the movies. (No, really, try it!)

1652 33rd Street NW
4 Bedrooms, 3.5 Baths
$1,525,000