Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Your Next Place

By Franklin Schneider

This restored three-level high-ceilinged Victorian was verrrrry classy, so much so that I wore jeans to the open house and was in perpetual fear that the house itself was going to somehow expunge me from the premises, like my grandmother and her first transplanted kidney. (To this day she swears it was because the donor “wasn't Catholic enough.”)

The woodwork, the chandeliers, the hardwood floors – the details here were at once incredibly ornate but also subtle. It's like the house where Elton John would live if he was a professor of semiotics. It just felt like a house where every little thing had been thought about and then gotten just right. The bedrooms are each unique and generously sized, the dining room is fantastic, the kitchen is the ur-kitchen that everyone imagines when they think about “the perfect kitchen,” and the house has four – four! - fireplaces. If I lived here, I'd be committing crimes constantly, just so I could have dramatic late-night evidence-burning sessions.

There's also a huge, beautiful library that could hold almost half the printed-out contents of the cheapest Kindle. (I kid!) And finally, the house comes with parking for two cars or, if you only have one car, a huge doublewide space that you can kind of haphazardly pull into sideways and it doesn't matter, not like when you do it at Whole Foods and the other shoppers key your car.

1412 HOPKINS St., NW
Washington, D.C. 20036
3 Bedrooms, 2.5 Baths

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