Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Your Next Place

By Franklin Schneider

This Capitol Hill corner townhouse, with its turret and tower, could be like your very own D.C castle. If I lived here I'd retain someone just to stay on the balcony and announce guests with bugles and fanfare. “Sire, the neighbor comes to remind you that you're not allowed to put the trash curbside until six o'clock, and it's only 5:45!” “Bring the cans back up until 6, and then catapult a plague-ridden corpse through his skylight.”

Ha ha! I'm not even kidding. You could absolutely fall prey to delusions of grandeur in a house like this. I mean, it's not often you see a house this grand, this sprawling, in the city. Recently remodeled, this four-level beauty has it all. You enter into a spacious livng room – if it's cold there's a fireplace right there to warm yourself by. The living room has high ceilings and beautiful rich dark hardwood floors, recessed lighting and tons of windows. The kitchen is a long, wide affair, with acres of counter space. The master bath features a distinctive ceramic tile shower and a great soaking tub, and the master bedroom suite is like a little kingdom in and of itself, with a sitting area off to the side and plenty of light.

This is also where you'll find my personal favorite part of the house, a very charming and well-built Juliet balcony. It's the perfect space for a quite moment of reflection at dawn or dusk, or a place to lounge in the summer above the heat and noise (and bugs don't come up this high.) You could also put a catapult up there. Just saying.
901 N. Carolina Avenue SE
4 Bedrooms, 4.5 Baths


Anonymous said...

Wow, this IS a really, really nice place. The only problem I see is that it's on Capitol Hill! Ha! In all seriousness though, it's a sad commentary that we see $1 + million homes for sale in the heart of what our founding fathers intended to be a place of public service from citizen representatives. But even the crumbs of a $3.6 trillion federal budget can fatten the dogs.

Dave said...

The Founding Fathers intended Capitol Hill to forever be a bastion of affordability?

That's a new one. Can you point to the section of the Constitution that says that?

Anonymous said...

That's not what I said, brother. The intention of the founding fathers was to have citizen representatives representing their districts part-time in the halls of Congress in a limited capacity (in Philadelphia/New York, but I digress). Now as a result of huge federal budgets and complicated tax codes, mountains of lawyers and lobbyists line the streets of Capitol Hill and the halls of Congress. That's why real estate is so expensive today in the nation's capital.

Many years ago I was at a lobbyists house in Great Falls. The guy had a wine cellar with several hundred grand in wine. Kind of puts our system into perspective.

Anonymous said...

@LeaderOne DC - Did the Founding Fathers forsee these part timers administering a highly technologically advanced urbanized society of over 300 Million? Doubtful indeed.

Anonymous said...

You're right. Our founders envisioned a constitutionally limited federal government, not one that gave itself any power it wished and justified it by "societal advancement."


Anonymous said...

I am not referring to so-called "social advancement". I am simply referring to the reality of governing a nation which far exceeds anything the Founding Fathers could have conceived of in terms of population and complexity. Government needs to be the appropriate size to govern. This does not lend itself to any hard and fast rule. Having too little is just as bad, or worse, than too much. Imagine if a Fortune 500 artifically limited its management staff without regard to the number of emplyees, number of offices, complexity of producing its goods and services, number of customers ect. Oh, and you may be shocked to learn that some corporate executives (me included) also have very nice wine cellars. ;)-

Anonymous said...

Haha, there is NOTHING wrong with a wine cellar--so long as it's paid for via capitalism and not via the overflow from tax payers. You're a corporate CEO. You're a capitalist.

I think we're kind of missing each others' point--I missed yours. Fair enough. But I think you're missing mine--or I've veered off my original point.

As a result of the overflow of federal dollars, the immense authority Congress has given itself and the incredibly complicated (and maleable) tax code (3.7 MILLION words!), this region is overrun by those who earn their wealth directly or indirectly off the hard work of our countrymen around this nation.

It's a sad commentary that a K-Street lobbyist or a government contractor is in the position to have a 6-figure hobby when that money is indirectly earned off the labor of Kansans and Iowans, etc. There's absolutely no reason that Congress should have so much authority that it REQUIRES companies and organizations to hire lobbyists. The fact that we have $1 million homes no doubt servicing lobbyists is a sad commentary. Perhaps that's a necessary evil in today's reality, but our reality needs to change.

I spent the last year in the Midwest--our attitude in DC is much closer to Marie Antoiniette's than to Thomas Jefferson's.

Anonymous said...

Lobbyists aren't paid by tax dollars. Unless I'm missing your point, lobbyists are paid by trade associations or by corporations. The government isn't using tax money to pay for people to lobby Congress.

And, BTW, that's a beautiful house.

Anonymous said...

Ugh! Yes, you are missing my point. Lobbyists are obviously not paid by Congress, but their jobs are indirectly related to the exorbidant power that Congress has given itself. Because of the 3.7 million word tax code and because of the $3.6 trillion budget Congress has incredible power to pick winners and losers. Therefore, it's a matter of necessity that companies and organizations hire lobbyists and pay them big bucks to lobby Congress.

This is the problem with big government--it creates an atomsphere that REQUIRES the presence of influence peddlers. It would be bad business practice to not hire lobbyists.

And yes, the house is marvelous!

Anonymous said...

Back to the house. This home is great, except for the fact that, despite the huge overall size of the house, the living room is the size of a matchbox. Notice the picture of the fireplace with sad little chairs nearby. That's why it continues to sit there. Why pay $1M plus for a house without a living room - there is more seating in the bedroom!

Anonymous said...

Wow, that's a lot of energy over a townhouse! I thought the $1.125 price tag looked cheap, but what do I know?

P.S. The founding father's didn't give a damn about real estate on capital hill. If they did, they would have reserved it for rich white guys.


Anonymous said...

The living room isn't so much small, that it is a really awkward shape (the house is sort of triangular and has 3 bays) and there is a giant stair coming down right in the middle of it. Considering how narrow Capitol Hill row house stairs generally are, I'm guessing that they were significantly enlarged during the remodel.

I think that facing love seats with a coffee table in between could fit in that nook, but the stagers used the tiny chairs to make the room seem bigger.

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